the_mysterious_mr_enterfandomcom-20200214-history
Feeling pride
So in the past 3 days I wrote 9,000 words. The Growing Around novel jumped from about 25 pages to like... 48? That's... 23 pages in three days. Most of it has been new, original content in it that I've had to more-or-less make up on the spot. And it's this kind of extreme energy that makes me think I can do things like NaNoWriMo. That's pretty much... most of what I've been doing for the past three days. If you don't know, the goal of NaNoWriMo more or less is to write 1,667 words every single day. And for the past three days, I've almost doubled that. See, usually when I make a post about this kind of stuff, I talk about the negative end of the focus cycle. Maybe this is closer to hypergraphia, I do not know. The point where all of this hits zero. From this kind of speed that I can do without taking a break, without slowing down, without breaking a sweat. I don't know if I've cracked the code or anything, but... this past week it seemed like my thinking just... became a lot more organized. You know, if this counts as organized. I can't exactly turn this off... so... as I try to get to sleep, I feel that I should be continuing the story, and doing anything else more or less drains my energy... except typical amusements. Let me put this in perspective. I've started this particular project in late April, and within the span of two and a half months, I got to around... 8,000 words. I know that I was at 8,000 words back Monday. And here on Sunday morning (the end of my Saturday), I'm at 18,000. And it doesn't show any signs of slowing down. I'm not... trying to brag or anything (well, it's my journal about my own personal feelings so, I could do that if I wanted to). But... for the first time in a... long time I feel proud of myself. This year... I've really been trying to up my game in a lot of aspects of my life. If you've noticed my reviews this year, I've been taking a lot of new chances and trying to push the envelope. Not so much in reviewing the worst things ever, but just trying to create things that are bigger and better. Some of my favorite reviews have come out this year, Peter-Assment and Homer Badman being some of them. The only review I'd consider maybe filler was the "Puffy Ami Yumi" one, because the cysts just got that bad. And in spite of that, I made the Top 20 Worst Opening Themes list, which... you know, that's probably my favorite review (even with its slight sound mixing issues), and the year is only half over and there are still challenges I want to mount. I feel like I can take on these things like never before. So... let's talk about the past, shall we? The closest project that I've ever had to completion, in the literary realm was Little Cassie. That totaled 40k words, and afterwards I didn't want much to do with it. Even getting to 40k was such a struggle that I had to essentially change the genre of the book. I don't like what I did. And it was a struggle to write, but it's something you could consider "done" on some level. A draft was written. The second closest thing to completion? That would be the Young Commando ''script. It currently totals 9,000 words. Granted, 9,000 words of a script is a larger percentage of the entire work than 9,000 words of a novel, but... by any standard you measure this... The GA novel surpassed it. The ''Young Commando script is 36 pages. The GA novel is currently at 48 pages. And, here's the thing - I've had tough breaks with this. Moments where the writing just wouldn't come and every word I spat onto the page just. felt. stupid. But I got... past it. Some of it will definitely need a rewrite, but I'll cross that bridge when I get it, but some of the writing... I actually felt that it was clever, and I've been writing scripts for so long that I forgot that... I usually didn't like my prose. Like, even if the story was fine, the words that I picked and how I put them together usually felt awkward, if I didn't make them... insensibly poetic. Here though... what I've got works, well enough for a first draft at least Sally and Timmy used to spend a lot of time playing up here the attic, but they had to stop because a ghost took up residence. Linda kept assuring Sally that the ghost was just a heating vent, but that was stupid. Of course it sounded like a heating vent. The ghost was pretending to be one to trick people into a false sense of security. That's an excerpt from the book. That's the tone, by the way. If I could encapsulate the tone, that would be it. The novel is told from Sally's perspective, and she's not the closest person to reality. I think I wrote that yesterday. Anyway, the biggest question through all of this, is... what changed? I've been just as excited to write things like this before and they've faded. I mean, it's possible that I've found "the one", whatever that really means - you know, the perfect project that you devote your life too. Most people mean "the one" romantically. I mean, this project has been with me for two years so far, it's bound to have some kind of strength. Maybe... playing through The Beginner's Guide helped me figure something about myself, as a creator. That... maybe on some level, I do seek external validation for my projects. If no one else has ever been excited about these ideas I've got, maybe they die. Maybe that's why I've almost consistently been able to make video reviews, but other projects... ones which I try to keep private... I never seem to be able to find the strength. Although maybe not. I've been able to work on this novel and keep it mostly private, and as a kid... I wrote more than I do now and getting it seen by anyone was always the least wanted thing. Maybe Undertale (''or the things from it) actually did fill me with determination. I know that I've been listening to the fan songs, especially "Judgement" by TryHardNinja like on loop while I've been writing. Or maybe thanatophobia has its benefits and I'm overly paranoid that I'll die while leaving nothing behind. Or it could have possibly been laziness that I've finally broken through (although it certainly doesn't ''feel like that), hell if I know. It'd be a good thing to figure out though. I'd say that tomorrow I'm gonna take it easy to prevent myself from getting burnt out, but it doesn't really work that way. Here's the basic idea, and the thing that seems the most true - an object in motion tends to stay in motion. The more that I write/edit/whatever, the more that I want to, and the easier that it becomes. Also, saying that I wrote 10,000 words over the course of a week, and yes, even at this rate, I can still make the Norm of the North review - although I might do another smaller one in between now and it. I don't know if I can get it done by the end of the month, and I'd like to say that I made more than one review this month. I'm just feeling... really upbeat right now. It helps that the cysts are gone and I've healed from surgery too. Category:Miscellaneous